Hi everyone! I happen to be a non-procrastinator (most of the time) but I am looking for some help for my older brother. He finished high school and began going to a nearby community college but failed most of his classes and decided to drop out after the first semester. He spent majority of the year working on recording and producing music in his music studio and decided to apply to a music school (also nearby). He sent in his demo and is waiting for a reply in about a week. I was talking to him today and he said to me that he no longer cared about anything and he was too lazy. He no longer wants to go to this music school and I am worried he won't try hard if he gets in. My mom and I spent majority of the evening talking some sense into him and I came to the obvious conclusion that he most likely has a form of depression that is causing his laziness. Do you think I am right about depression or do you think he truly is suffering from a severe form of procrastination? I thought you guys would know a lot more about this than me.
Thanks,
Kinzerz92
Hi! As procrastination is (in my humble opinion) just a general label for many deeper underlying problems, your brother can as well be going through the depression - which as a medical diagnosis is best left upon a licensed psychologist to diagnose.
Talking some sense into someone, created way more procrastinators than helped to cure.
I'd recommend to read last chapter in
The Now Habit by
Neil Fiore - Chapter 9 named The Procrastinator in Your Life. I didn't read it yet, but given the other parts of the book, I think it will be useful. It's about 20 pages, chances are you will be able to read it just in a bookshop or library.
As I don't have time for next X days to read it myself, just quickly skimmed through it, and here are some points mentioned:
- don't act as a director, but as a consultant (offer support, but don't direct them nor judge them)
- don't criticize, don't nag - it only creates further resentment and deepens the procrastination problem
Generally, the book as a whole is good to get acquainted with, as it contains workable strategies for self-help in real life.
There can be many reasons for such behavior-depression being one of them. Drug or alcohol abuse could be an issue. Or some undiagnosed psychological condition. I might suggest getting him to a doctor to have some tests run. See what the medical community might have to offer.
If they find nothing wrong, than it might be that he is a procrastinator. Unfortunately, he seems to lack drive which is not common among procrastinators. We are extremely driven, just lack the gumption to follow through.