Procrastination Support and Discussion Board

Why don't you do what you say you want to do?

It is a question I posed in my own discussion forum.

I had a few replies but I think most people procrastinate on identifying the reasons for their procrastination.

So how about anyone here on this forum explicity for procrastination?

Why oh why, do you feel/think, that you do NOT do, what you SAY you want to do...?

I think my own reason boils down to an immaturity of wanting affectionate love.

Let me explain a little.

I am a man. A man's happiest place is in the arms of his dream woman. A nurturing tender security zone.

Being productive demands high energy, vitality, concentration, speed, etc. All things not applicable to that woozy relaxation lying in the arms of the one who holds you so.

So I think my procrastination results from me wanting to find that experience even when not in those arms. I think that's the indulgence of TV. Lolling their on the cozy couch, watching something that takes you away from thoughts of the day.

A woman replacement. TV... the idiot box.

So that's a bit about why I don't do the things I say I want to do... how about you?

Nathan

Interested to hear what people might respond to this one.

I hear to many things which the shamans of various cultures on mother Earth taught. They recognized three selves, or three parts of yourself, whichever makes more sense to you. They were low self, middle self and high self (many other names, too).

Theory I subscribe to is that low self is prevents the middle self. In other words, the bridges between those two are broken. In yet another words, the wishes of the lower self are often unrecognized and our life unbalanced. It's just a metaphor, and this it's shallow explanation only, but pretty closest to what I found so far on my search.

Ending here before I will get myself sound even more like a fool

Hi Tomas. You mentioned a trilogy, low, middle and high selves. This is like S.Freud's trilogy Id, Ego and Superego.
Your theory is that low-self (Id, in Freud's case) is not listened to? And this causes procrastination?

I was recently thinking little opposite of that. Maybe you already read at some other procrastination related sites, procrastination is not a problem of time management. I completely agree with that. A desk calendar will not help curing my procrastination, although I will miss/forget less appointments for sure. I was thinking, at least in my case, procrastination is a problem of not being able to say "no" to desires or distractions. Let's say there's a task I need to do, and just before I need to start doing it, "let's check email" or "let's find a productivity software out there which might help me" comes into mind and I cannot say no, I say "I can do that task later, finding a productivity software is really important".
So, I classify procrastination as a problem of undisciplined self. Back to Tomas' trilogy, I believe low-self is the one bringing up the ideas to distract the self. But, this might not be completely true because I felt couple of times, again before starting an important task, there was no excuse to distract, the low-self was silent but still the self was trying to find a distraction. It was like Self listening to Low-self carefully, as if Self asks for help. I don't know if you agree with that idea.

About trilogies, I know another example which is similar in context but different in numbers. In Islam, the Person is composed of Self and Nefs. Nefs is the one who brings up bad ideas, deviations from straight path, etc. It's like the "Id" of Freud. "Self" can promote in Islam as long as it can say no to Nefs. So, now I can rephrase my theory, procrastination is not being able to say no to Nefs.

If low-self is not listened to, that can cause so called self-sabotage, one of the common reasons behind procrastination.

You are right about time management. The proverbial desk calender will only help if one of the reasons is disorganization, and even partially in that case, because one still has to stick to their means of organization, tools alone don't do it.

Not being able to say no to distractions, is similar to ADD, attention deficit disorder. Yeah, it's very common. I wanted to write few blog posts. Instead, ended with downloading all kinds of writing software, choosing one, making a system, downloading nice icons for it, and so on.... But time was wasted, not enough time for the writing

I listen to what you are saying. And thanks for the Islamic perspective, I didn't know about that.

If it rings true for you, it is. After all....where I learn about the three selves is Huna. One shaman in the path of Huna, actually a descendant in a Hawaiian lineage of shamans, said that for him the idea of three selves is just a metaphor. So in that perspective, I don't care if it is metaphor or not, and if it is three sleves or just two (Self and Nefs), if it works for you and you can make something of it, so it is.

My idea here would be more of trying to reconcile with Nefs, instead of not listening to it. Nefs has it reasons for wanting certain things. There are various methods, no matter whether shamanistic or modern psychotherapeutical ones, that will help you negotiate with your Nefs. You will learn why it wants certain things and/or persuade it what you think is better for you.
The ultimate goal here is that Self and Nefs become one in their (positive, good) goals. That would mean no clash any longer between Self and Nefs. And no procrastination. As to me procrastination originates from disharmony, and productivity increases with inner harmony.

i dont get things done because i dread doing them. because of this sense of dread i delay beginning tasks or finishing them. next thing i know the house is a mess, i can't remember stupid things like daily tasks for work, etc. i become a mess.
if i could get myself past dreading things i would be golden.